Never Woke Up
by Lena-luvs-cats
Summary: After a hard battle, Allen is left in a coma. He and Kanda had promised something to each other. How will they manage? What does Allen see? How does Kanda react? Will he ever wake up? Yullen three-shot. Rated T for Kanda's mouth.
1. Chapter 1, His Light

**Heyo! Tis Lena again! Welcome back if you've read my first fic, if not, the Hiyah! So you guys liked my first fic and I felt inspired to write some more. This is my attempt at a sad sorta fic, and I'm not sure how good it is. Anyways here's the first chappie~ It's in Allen's POV**

 **Disclaimer: D. Gray man belongs 100% to Katsura Hoshino!**

 **Another Disclaimer: This fic is sorta based on a video/short story thing by Katy Towell. Her stuff's awesome, check out her youtube channel Childrin R Skary**

 **Now, Enjoy~**

* * *

Never Woke Up

Chapter 1, His Light

 _"One day I fell asleep,_

 _And I never woke up."_

I remembered pain.

We were amidst a heavy battle with akuma. The Order had already lost so much, we didn't know how much longer we'd last. It was four level 3 akumas per exorcist and then some, we were being overwhelmed. The fourteenth's voice kept echoing in my head.

 _Give up._

Never.

 _They'll all die._

I'll protect them.

 _No you won't._

I will. I have to.

I was losing my focus. My headache getting stronger.

 _They'll die and it'll be all your fault._

Shut up.

 _You'll be all alone._

Shut _up_!

 _Just give in to me._

SHUT UP!

I could only hear the fourteenth's heinous laughter ringing through my head after that. Blood was pumping through my ears. My sight was spinning. I could feel the fourteenth trying to claw its way out. I couldn't let that happen. Couldn't stop walking…

…

Ah…

…

Was I falling?...

I heard a fuzzy voice call out to me. _"Allen-kun!"_

…

I was on the ground, laying on my back, innocence deactivated. My chest hurt, I looked down. There was a blade sticking through it. An akuma must have shot it. I could feel its poison spreading through me, and my innocence was trying to purify it. It was holding it at bay, but that's all it was doing.

It hurt so much. I tried to pull the blade out, but found I couldn't move. I tried to look around but blood was getting in my eyes.

I remembered a couple figures running toward my body, but I couldn't tell who. I felt so tired.

 _"Allen-kun! Please be okay! Please don't die!"_ A fuzzy voice rang out. Was it, Lenalee?

 _"Damned Moyashi! What do you think you're doing?"_ Haha… That one was Kanda.

Ah, I felt so tired. I'll just close my eyes for a bit…

 _"Oi! Don't close your eyes idiot! Stay awake, damn it!"_

 _"Allen-kun!"_

Sorry guys, I don't think I can stay awake any longer…

Good night.

* * *

I remembered darkness.

I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't speak.

But I could walk, so I did. I walked and walked and walked, through the never-ending darkness, until the darkness ever so slowly revealed a stone road under my feet. A voice from behind made my eyes widen.

"Allen-kun?"

I turned around, and the darkness revealed Lenalee.

"Allen-kun! You're alright! Thank goodness!" She jumped and enveloped me in a hug.

I tried to reassure her, but I still couldn't find my voice. So I lifted up my arms to hug her back. Her face was still in my shoulder and her arms slackened a bit. "I'm so glad," she started warmly, "now we can all go home," I started to feel something off.

 ** _"Together."_**

To my horror, I cast my eyes to the right to see Lenalee open her mouth too wide to be human, revealing long, sharp, serrated teeth. Sensing what she was about to do, I instinctively shoved her away with all my might and jumped back.

My surroundings were now illuminated a deep red. Lenalee slowly got up from the ground, only, she wasn't quite Lenalee anymore. This Lenalee's hair was now down and matted in innumerable amounts of knots, her fingers long, sharp and bony. Her mouth stretched beyond her ears and her eyes were completely blacked over.

 ** _"A-allen-kun… What's wrong?"_** she moaned out, stepping towards me. In turn I took several steps back. **_"D-don't you… want to go home? With e-ever-y, one else?..."_** Suddenly Lavi and Krory appeared at her sides, in a similar state. All three of them stepped toward me. I backed up, and backed up even more as they continued forward, as more and more people from the order appeared behind them, all in the horrified state. I stumbled as I turned around to run. Their voices came after me.

 ** _"Allen…"_**

 ** _"Come back…"_**

 ** _"Don't run…"_**

 ** _"No one will hurt you…"_**

Lies, lies. They're all lies!

Fear raced through my blood as a continued to run and run and run. The mob behind me followed, growing and growing in numbers, with souls of akums, people of my past, my regrets and mistakes. They kept growing in size getting more and more warped as they went along. Their voices were in my head.

 ** _"It's all your fault!"_**

No.

 ** _"Why didn't you save us?"_**

I'm sorry.

 ** _"Freak!"_**

I'm not.

 ** _"Monster!"_**

Please stop.

 ** _"Go die, DEMON-SPAWN!"_**

Just SHUT UP! Shut up, shut up, shutupshutupshutup SHUT. UP!

Tears streamed down my face, I couldn't take it anymore. I stumbled one too many times, and they were on me. I didn't even have a chance to retaliate. Their arms were all on me, pulling and clawing and breaking and biting. They were eating me alive. I still couldn't make a sound, even with my mouth open in silent agony. The pressure in my chest was overwhelming.

The demons of my past ate their way through me, spraying blood and chunks of my bone and flesh everywhere. I was drowning in the sea of their bodies. Just as I was about to go under, time froze. A figure climbed up the bodies, stopping in front of me. It was Kanda, and he wasn't warped like everyone else. He had Mugen with him. For a second, a small flicker of hope sparked in me, for a second, I thought somebody was finally going to save me.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Kanda looked down at me in disgust, and spat "Che. Die, Noah-scum."

…

For some reason, those words hurt a little deeper than the rest.

…

Kanda unsheathed Mugen and brought it up. I couldn't even close my eyes as the blade came down. But before the blade could cut into me, everything disappeared.

No more mob, no more Kanda. I was whole again, and I could move. Looking around, I saw I was now in a forest.

Shakily, I got up on my feet. My breath was ragged. I coughed. Maybe now the nightmare was over. I walked through the forest, I came to a clearing. There I saw a familiar man, looking at me, holding his arms open. Tears sprung at my eyes.

I found my voice was back as I jumped into his arms and cried "M-mana!"

My foster father caught and embraced me.

"Allen…" he said affectionately.

I was back in my infant body, from when I was still with Mana. I didn't care if it was fake, I didn't care if it was a trap, at that moment, all I cared about was being able to see Mana again. I cried and cried and cried, for the reunion of a son and his father. The whole time, he whispered reassurances, and I-love-you's, making me all the more happier.

"Please come back to me…" Mana murmured.

I was so confused. Why did Mana sound so desperate? Wasn't I already there?

"Allen." He got my attention. His head was downcast.

"Yes, Mana?"

"—m back…" he whispered so low, I couldn't quite hear. "Give him back…" he repeated, a little louder this time. Give who back?

Mana's voice raised to a shout in almost an instant. "Give him back, give him back, give him back!" He let go of my embrace abruptly, causing for me to fall to the ground. He clitched his head. "Give me back my Neah! Neah, Neah, Neah! My beloved brother! I want my brother back!" My heart sank as I realized, this wasn't the father who loved me, this was the mad clown who had mistaken a street rat for his dog.

Tears streamed down Mana's face as he continued to wail in his fit of insanity. "The fourteenth! Where is my beloved fourteenth?!" To my horror, my foster father's body started inflating, larger and larger like a balloon. I scooted back and croaked out a sound that expressed my horror. My father had become the Millennium Earl. "My beloved fourteenth! Come back! I don't want Allen, I want my fourteenth!"

…

It was at those words, did my mind break.

…

N-never loved me… He never loved me. No, no, nononono… N-never…

Mana. Mana never loved me. Everything he said, was to his brother. Everything he did was to get him back. All those I-love-you's were all a lie. _No one_ ever loved me. Everything, _everything_ , about me was fake. Didn't I keep walking? Wasn't I supposed to walk my own path? Was everything in my life, my entire _existence_ just a part of a whole scheme to bring back the fourteenth?

A sob broke from my throat. Then another, and another, until sobs were pouring uncontrollably out of me. Soon, those sobs turned into anguished yells as I slowly lost my mind. My entire mindscape was now just a bunch of broken shards. Those around me did not reflect me, but of a young Noah. _The fourteenth._ I continued to scream and scream. I don't know when, but eventually, I lost my voice and I fell down into the dark, empty, abyss that was what remained of my mind.

* * *

I remembered Kanda.

Kanda.

Tall, irritable, and forever grumpy. I had hated him when we first met. But, who was I to say that? I, if I had never met Mana… I would've most definitely turned out like that as well.

Kanda, he said he'd be there for me, he was my base, my _anchor_. He… he kept me in place, kept me focused on my goal, kept me reminded that the world was corrupted, yes, and you had to save yourself from it. I wanted to save him, I had told him that.

I… I needed him, to keep me from drifting away into blinded wishful thinking.

Kanda, he kept me sane.

I missed him.

I wanted to see him.

Because right now, I needed him to be my anchor, to keep me from further drifting deeper, lost to the depths my empty mind.

* * *

 **And scene!**

 **So there's the first out of three chappies. Hope you liked it so far, so please review and remember I am open to any critique or suggestions!**

 **Next chapter will be in Kanda's POV and should be up by Wednesday, if not, then next week. I forewarn possible OOC-ness with that.**

 **Anyways hope you'll continue reading,**

 **Au revoir~**


	2. Chapter 2, His Anchor

**Bonjour encore! Lena's back with chapter 2 on Wednesday as promised! I'd like to thank all those who reviewed, followed and favorited, I really appreciate it. Any ways this chapter's in Kanda's POV, and he'll probably be a bit OOC at some points but meh, deal with it. (/-3-)/**

 **But what evs, on with the chappie!**

 **Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Katsura Hoshino!**

* * *

Never Woke Up

Chapter 2, His Anchor

 _"One day my light fell asleep,_

 _And he never woke up."_

I remembered ache.

It was a large battle with akumas. That damn central just had to keep sending us out on suicidal missions. The bastards, they were no different from the Noah. We were clearly losing, and it got worse and worse each battle. When will they learn that enough is enough?!

Yet, I still had to fight, I still had to live on, I still hadn't and never would forgive the Order. And so I fought.

Heh. Four against one? I'll take my odds.

I knew when we got out of the battle we'd be far from unscathed. I had to be careful now, since my regeneration was basically gone. It was annoying. Damn it. Lenalee was to my right, the Baka Usagi to my left. Che, the damned redhead didn't know where he was swinging.

I gripped Mugen tighter in my hands as I continuously swung and slashed at the akumas. "Hee~ Die exorcist!~" The akuma's voice was so annoying. With a final thrust I cleaved the akuma in half. I almost flinched as a sharp stab of pain resonated in my forearms. I looked down at them. The angry red veins continued to spread around the crosses on them. Hah… Was I still coming closer to becoming a fallen? Che, how bothersome.

"Kanda! Behind you!" I heard Lenalee call from behind me. Jerking around, I closely avoided a lunge at me from an akuma. Using the same momentum, I aimed to sever its head off. I missed my mark slightly, getting a good slash at its chest instead. As it was thrown back, Lenalee came and finished it off with one of her kicks to its head.

The girl's shoulder length hair had gotten out of their hair ties, and she looked a bit disheveled. "Thank goodness you're alright!"

"Che. Of course. I'm not going down yet."

She was about to say something else when I saw her head turn to the side and she paled. "Allen-kun!"

I immediately jerk my head in the same direction. I tensed up at what I saw. Moyashi's body was freefalling from the sky. Lenalee was already after him. I shook myself from my small stupor and quickly followed suit.

We watched as his body met the ground with a sickening thud. We quickly ran over to his broken body. Lenalee was there first. "Allen-kun!" she cried, tears beginning to well up, "Please be okay! Please don't die!" I reached him.

"Damned Moyashi! What do you think you're doing?" I bit out, as I debated internally on whether or not to remove the blade from his chest. If I took it out, he could die from blood loss, if it stayed in, he could die from the poison.

"Shit…" I hissed out quietly to myself.

What the hell happened to his damned martyr-complex? Didn't he say he had to save the akumas' souls? Didn't he say he'd save me? I took his body from Lenalee's arms, her body shaking from her tears. Allen's eyes fluttered to me weakly, but soon after they started closing slowing. Shit, this was bad!

"Oi! Don't close your eyes idiot! Stay awake, damn it!" Damn it, damn it all! Lenalee's eyes widened further and she sobbed out in anguish.

"Allen-kun!"

Allen's body went still in my arms. An aching throb in my chest.

Shit, this wasn't happening. The damned Moyashi wouldn't–… He said–…

…

He's a fucking liar.

* * *

I remembered disbelief.

It was after the battle. We had lost Marie that day. At least now he can be with Tiedoll and Daisya. I had sprained a wrist, and my wrist was already wrapped up.

Allen lay unconscious on an infirmary bed. There were numerous tubes and pumps connected to him. Doctors were discussing among themselves around him. I stood to the side, unspeaking. Lenalee and Lavi ran in. "Allen-kun! How is he? Will he be alright?" she asked, eyes filled with worry.

The doctors looked over their clipboards and wouldn't meet her eyes. "Miss Lee. He's had some serious head trauma, aside from his severe internal damage to his chest."

I clenched my fists a little, remembering the state we had found him in. These were his worst injuries yet.

"His innocence isn't doing too much to help with the healing either, since it is continuing to drain Mr. Walker's energy."

I gritted my teeth. Unexplained frustration built up within me.

"Right now, he's in a coma, and–"

Don't say it.

"–we're sorry, but–"

Don't…

"–we don't think he'll wake up."

 _Slam!_

…

My fist had met the wall. I glared at the doctors.

Lavi and Lenalee looked over at me. "K-kanda…" Lenalee started.

I left the room before she could finish.

Fuck… That damned Moyashi! He's such a fucking liar! I seethed through the hallways, not giving a damn about who got in my way. I roughly shoved them away. I hated liars the most.

Allen wouldn't be stopped by something so little like this, yeah… He'll definitely wake up, and when he does, I'll be sure to beat his little face in.

I made my way out of headquarters and went deep into the forest surrounding it. Storming my way through the branches and underbrush, I came to a small meadow, the one me and the Moyashi had found a few months back. There were some mats laying around.

We would come here whenever we need some time to ourselves, sometimes I'd meditate, sometimes he'd sit, deep in thought, and sometimes, when we'd come together, we'd spar, to let off some steam.

This place was our secret.

I stalked over to a tree and threw the punch I had been holding in. The bark splintered from the impact. I didn't care. I couldn't hold back anymore. I rained blows over and over on the tree. I only stopped when its trunk finally cracked and groaned as it fell, getting caught by the surrounding trees.

I was panting slightly, and I plopped down on one of the mats laying around. I lay down, put my arm over my eyes.

I muttered out, "Moyashi, you're a fucking liar. I _said_ I'd be there for you…" I lifted my arm to look at the stormy sky above me.

"Are you going to make me a liar too?..."

* * *

I remembered Allen.

Moyashi.

Short, martyr-complex, and a bottomless pit. I hated him when we first met. He was too happy, smiling all the time. But I could tell that the smile was fake. I could see through that mask of his right from the beginning, and I hated him for lying. He was too kind for his own good.

Allen, he said he'd save me. He doesn't know but he saved me the moment he came into my life. He was so much like Alma, and yet so different as well. He… he was my window, my _light_. He let me see the little good that was in the world, he let me have another chance. He'd forgiven me so many times, even when I had stabbed him with Mugen and awakened his Noah. He had fixed what friendship had been between me and Alma, had given us our final moments together to be ours alone. I knew I could never repay him, but the least I could do was to be there for him.

I needed him, he kept me from fading into the darkness that made my hate and anger.

Allen, he kept me sane.

I missed him.

I needed to see him.

Because right now, I needed him to be my light, to protect me from the dark chains that would consume me, and drag me down into the dark abyss that was my hatred.

* * *

 **And scene!**

 **So there's chappie numero dos, sorry if it was a bit short, but it was how I wanted to format this. The third and final chapter might even be a bit shorter, but I will get it up by either Friday or Saturday. It'll be in 3rd POV after all this has happened.**

 **Thanks for continuing to read this,**

 **Please review, and Au revoir~**


	3. Chapter 3, Together Forever

**Herrowz again! The final chapter of Never Woke Up is now posted! Thanks again to those who've kept reading this it makes me feel so loved~ This'll probably be the shortest chapter out of three, but bweh~ I dun kar. \\(-~-)/ This is in 3rd POV and I hope you'll enjoy it.**

 **I do not own D. Gray man, Katsura Hoshino does.**

 **On with the Chappie!~**

* * *

Never Woke Up

Chapter 3, Together Forever

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" an angry Japanese man yelled out. He was holding up a fistful of a Chinese man's shirt. Beside him was a long-haired Chinese girl.

"Nii-san! There's got to be something we could do!" she cried.

The man calmly removed the fist from his shirt, his face grim. "I'm sorry, but these are central's orders, and we can't go against the higher ups. We have to pull the plug on Allen." The Japanese man still seethed.

"Komui you damned sister-complex! Explain!"

The man named Komui sighed. "Allen's body hasn't healed at all from his injuries from his last battle, and that was four months ago! He's relying on drips and oxygen pumps to stay alive, and there's also the matter with the fourteenth Noah. We don't know if it'll be Allen to wake up, or the fourteenth."

"But nii-san! I'm sure Allen will be able to fight it off!"

"We just can't risk that. I'm sorry, Lenalee, Kanda." The girl Lenalee lowered her head as she started to cry. Her brother pulled his sister into a hug. "Shh… I'm sorry, I wish I could do something…" he whispered. "But," he said a bit louder, "I also think this is the best for Allen. Because, if he ever wakes up, whether as himself or as the fourteenth, he will be taken by central, for experiments, and we'd never wish for him to suffer that."

Kanda, who hadn't said anything for a bit, spoke one word. "When?"

Komui looked up. "Huh?"

"I said 'when' dumbass." At this Lenalee also looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean ' _when_ ' are you going to pull the plug, damn it!" Kanda's voice was sharp.

"O-oh… Well, three days from now, at two in the afternoon."

Kanda turned and stalked out of the office, silently.

"Kanda…" Lenalee trailed off. She was very concerned for her friend, Kanda had returned to the cold and heartless person he was before Allen came ever since he got into a coma. He didn't even have Lavi to try and cheer him up now. Lavi had left the order to continue on with bookman duties six weeks ago. He had grown very distant ever since Bookman had died.

Since Allen's last battle, they had lost Marie, Bookman, Timothy and General Socalo. There now only remained Kanda, Lenalee, Krory, and General Nine. The exorcists were being picked off one by one. The Order had grown very empty, many of the scientists and workers having fled in fear for their life.

The Black Order was a very dark and lonely place.

* * *

Three days from then, before dawn had broken, a figure stood above a body on a bed in the infirmary.

"Allen…" the figure whispered out. Kanda looked over the body in front of him. Allen was pale, and still had the same amount of tubes and pumps connected to him as when Kanda had first went to see him in his coma. The only sound was the constant beeping of the heart monitor.

Kanda reached toward the body. Slowly, one by one, he removed the attachments to Allen, first starting with the heart monitor.

The final thing to remove was the oxygen mask. Kanda lifted it, and brushed a thumb over the comatose patient's lip. His eyes were dark. Carefully he took the body into his arms, bridal style, and slowly stepped out of the infirmary.

He treaded the silent halls in the dark, not a soul was awake.

He made his way outside. It was snowing heavily, being mid-January. Kanda wore thin clothes but he didn't feel the cold. He continued to walk, into the forest, whatever tracks he left soon covered up by new snow.

A small fluttering was heard behind. He turned, eyes empty. It was Timcampy. It struggled against the winds but made it over to Kanda's shoulder. He watched it but didn't do anything, and continued trudging through the thick snow.

Eventually, he made it to a small clearing, the snow seeming to glow undisturbed in the moonlight. It was the meadow only Allen and Kanda knew about. Kanda hadn't been here since he went last when Allen first got into his coma.

Now he was back, Allen's form with him.

Gingerly, he leaned Allen's body against the trunk of a large tree, and lay down beside him. "Mugen, activate." he said. His innocence complied and his blood sword formed in front of him. He hissed out in pain as additional blood streamed from his forearms. He could hardly activate his innocence anymore since the pain had gotten too great, the innocence-infected veins angry and swollen, but he would bear the pain of invocation, this one last time.

He took the blade in his hands, and had to readjust his grip a few times, for his hands were slick with his own blood. Blood stained his clothes but he didn't care.

He held his sword, only the blade was facing him. Beside him, he parted some hair from Allen's cold face and placed a light kiss on his forehead.

He placed the blade in front of where his regeneration seal was.

"Good night, Allen."

 _"That day two men fell asleep,_

 _And they never woke up."_

* * *

 **La fin!**

 **Yay, so that's the end of this story! I thank y'all for all your supports! Also I'd like you guys to tell me what would you think of an Akuma!SI/OC story, and well SI as in not _me_ but like as in someone from here into the DGM world, so tell me what you think.**

 **Please review and till I write again,**

 **Au revoir~**


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